Next Up - GamePlan

So, we had our game plan appointment. Overall, Amy, myself and our doctor are on the same page that January is the time to try. We  have a few things left to do before then. We have to do our PsychSocial, and we have to narrow down the donors to present at our donor party for votes. Then we have to actually pick a donor, get the sperm. On the way there I personally will be meeting with lawyers to get everything squared away for adopting our baby so that all the states in the land have to acknowledge my rights, whether they acknowledge our marriage or not. We will continue to strive for optimal baby making circumstances and work towards our personal goals so we don't have to push it, January will be the month. Okay. So, yeah, I mean, Okay.
What I love so far is that I think this is the only time I have every heard anyone tell Amy on such a consistent basis how normal she is. You sill never catch me saying that, or really anyone who you know, knows her. We know how crazy, little OCD, very type A she is. For the most part, everyone accepts and loves her either for it or in spite of it. It is however amusing to me to hear her referred to as absolutely normal. Well...yay? Okay. We are normal, levels are normal, egg reserves are normal. Check, check, check. We are in a good spot there. If only it wasn't for the one ingredient you must have to get pregnant that no matter what neither of us have got - sperm. I guess that is going to be the biggest thing. The PsychSocial is really just  a check in we have to do in NYS because we are using donor sperm. If you are gay, straight, single, anything and using donor sperm or eggs you have to do this. It is simply to make sure everyone is on the same page. I am fine with this. I find the whole lawyer thing annoying, and yet another example of how unfair and messed up civil rights in this country are, but this is not the blog I will have that rant on. I will keep my crazy ranting on my personal blog and move on quickly.
So that is it. We are honestly down to the homestretch with a game plan in place that Amy agrees on, I agree on and our doctor agrees on. Of course I haven't mentioned the hardest part. Telling the current fur babies about the game plan. Also, telling them that their days with a room known as the Cat Room, set up with their litter boxes, toys, and two Twin beds, made at all times, with sheets, pillows in pillow cases, blankets, quilts and a stuffed minion per bed they are all known to cuddle with at different times is rapidly coming to an end. I feel this is not going to go over well. No, we are not getting rid of any of our cats. We will tent the crib, hell I will put a screen door on the nursery if I have to and pray to all the Gods of the land, of past, current and future beliefs that Baby Marlette isn't allergic. We will make it work. Crazy Cat Ladies that we are, we aren't planning on saying goodbye without exercising all methods at our disposal to make it work, so I feel soon our house will have us, cats and baby coexisting if not well, at least making it happen. We are coming up on the final stretch of the preparation, almost game time.
Gulp. So, apparently this is when my panic will set in. Amy and I have been together for a long time. We know how this is going to go. Amy will labor under the delusion she is going to be a happy pregnant person, and I will let her though I and many others know the truth. However, there is one thing that Amy and I totally agree on. During the what she is now calling Baby-making Train, I will be the wreck. I will be panicky that it isn't going to take, and that she will be devastated. When the test is positive, I will be sure that it is wrong until the doctor confirms it. Then the crazy train will truly take off. It will be interesting. I am looking into if wrapping Amy in bubble wrap will truly make her safer or if it will just give me peace of mind. I am also wondering if I can actually convince to wear it willingly or if I will have to trick her. I think it will be the latter. I am also wondering how life in a bubble for 9 months would work for her...I think it would be the best way for me to carry on without bothering her to the point of her ripping my head off of my shoulders and playing soccer with it. I am fully willing to admit that I will be a nervous wreck during the pregnancy. Amy and I are both willing to bet that as soon as her water breaks, we will shift roles. This is just based on history, and it will be interesting to see if it holds true.
So, here we go, into the final parts of the prep. I am excited, nervous and determined. I am thankful for all of you that have been on this ride with us so far, and hope you are ready for whats ahead, because again, if history holds true, it still hasn't hit the Amy and Heather interesting stride.

So this is my first time blogging on my own.... so bear with me if this is a little wacky or long. ...

So as you know we did paperwork and then had some appointments. If you want to spare yourself some very graphic details please stop reading now... if you keep reading, don't say I didn't warn you.

So, first comes the paperwork.. Heather wasn't kidding about the phone calls to my parents, by the 3rd phone call they refused to hang up and just stayed on the phone for the remainder of the million and half questions about my family history. It was pretty entertaining, especially when my mom gave one answer and my dad another, and then would spend 3 to 5 minutes debating who was actually right. All in all that took almost 2 hours .. no joke!

Then came the appointments, and when Heather says we had appointments, she means Amy has more things stuck in her lady parts then ever before!

When you are going through IVF in any form at all, everything goes off of cycle days. Day 1 is when your period starts, and so on and so forth... after the first consultation appointment they have you waiting until day 1 of your cycle to call and let them know and then the scheduling starts. Jennifer (our nurse) said blood work is day 3 and then a whole bunch of ultrasounds days 6 to 12

Day one was a Sunday so day 3 was a Tuesday, I show up at 8:45am after not having eaten for the last 12 hours, and say "Hi, I'm here for my blood work." Easy right, WRONG. oh so very wrong. The response I receive... "we have you scheduled for an internal ultrasound as well"... UMM, Happy freakin Tuesday to you too! a surprise vaginal ultrasound.... have i mentioned that is has now been 12 hours and 15 minutes with no food and no coffee!!!!!! You can imagine the hangry that was setting in.

Ok, so 8 vials of blood later into the ultrasound room I go. So the extremely nice tech walks in and gets the machine all set up, places a condom on the probe, and then lube, and lots of it. She looks at what must be my petrified face and says, "Don't worry it doesn't all go in." and then says "do you want to insert it or me." My answer " You can go ahead I don't normally put things in that hole!"

Then the first time of many of times hearing "wow, you look great and normal".First time ever that I have been called normal, and I was ok with it.

Next appointment was on day 6 which was Friday of the same week where they squirt water into your uterus and then take another vaginal ultrasound (for those of you who are counting, that is 2 in 1 week! Lucky me!) but after the catheter was in i jumped when the "wand" went in and the nurse was very concerned about my jump, and asked me if I was ok, and my response "things don't normally go in there, so that was a surprise" .. after a good laugh by all it was again "wow, you look great and normal". She was actually confused why were were at IVF, I had to explain my wife and I were just looking to get hooked up with some sperm.

So then 1 more test, I can do this, no biggie... Damn I could not have been more wrong. Like dead wrong. This next test they squirt dye into your Fallopian tubes and take an x-ray to ensure they are clear of blockage. This test is hell, actual hell. Your Fallopian tubes are the size of a pencil line. that skinny and squirting dye up there while on an x-ray table is pretty darn awful.

Again, "wow, you look great and normal" so all the test are done, and I have clear understanding of what my lady parts look like.

So on to the consultation on Wed the 29th for the game plan. Fingers crossed that everything with the blood work is "wow, you look great and normal"

Next up, consultation debrief, pysch eval (because we are using donor sperm, and NYS wants to ensure we know what we are doing), and then DONOR PARTY!!!! Ladies and gentlemen we are going shopping for sperm!

Stay tuned, as this is going to be interesting!

Loves! -amy

Step 2 - Paperwork and Appointment - Per Heather

It has been awhile since our last update, and things have been happening. As is typical with Amy and myself, we decided to start this process, and try to blog about it in what is undoubtedly the busiest time of year for us. This is not new - from July to December for the entirety of our relationship, we have always been the busiest. So things have kinda just steamed along as usual, and we are as always just playing catch up.

So, the filling our of the paperwork happened. Fertility places really want to know everything as far back as you can go, and by about the 5th phone call to Amy's parents, I feel that they may have just been making it up to get us off the phone, but I can't really blame them. I would have too. So, it took about an hour to fill this all out. Once that was done though, Amy started to get nervous.  I do not enjoy when my wife is nervous. Not only do I simply not like it, as I adore her more than anything or anyone else, but because a nervous Amy is quite frankly a lot of work. I am not being mean, or implying anything bad, I am simply stating a fact. When Amy is nervous, she needs to be managed, and she will slowly but surely delve into a cranky Amy. However, I put a ring on it knowing this, so we trudged on through the nerves. The day of the appointment was the worst in cranky, nervous Amy, but we got through, got signed in and we waited. We got called back, vitals got done, and the big, bad scary doctor was not at all terrifying and good thing I could tell how good she is and how much she knows her stuff because in all other ways she kinda reminds me of a munchkin, and I am simply glad that she doesn't let that vibe through to her obvious expertise, or Amy would in fact simply get up, walk out and I would spend the next 6 months trying to convince her it is not a sign of the universe that we should not have a baby, because sometimes there is some over reacting to the point of crazy. However the doctor was reassuring, kind and sincere in her want to help us, so we moved on throughout the appointment and went on to meet with the Nurse who will be ours throughout the process to move through the next steps before our followup on October 29th.

We go into the room to wait for her, and realize we are not at a regular doctors office when we both spot a sign that states Effective as of May 1, 2014 Semen for processing at the lab can only be dropped off by the male patient - Valid ID will be required at the time of drop off.

...

True Story.

So we go through the tests that Amy is going to have to have once her next "cycle" starts. The blood tests will have to be fasting on Day 3-5. Then there will be a few ultrasounds, an exam. Then there will be a saline test and a dye test to check on the uterus/Fallopian tubes/egg reserves...it is all very confusing. Amy at this point has had the tests done, and everything is perfect for us to proceed. Our game plan appointment is on Wednesday, October 29th at 3:30. That is when we will make the plan as to when we will attempt insemination for the first time, and to make a real timeline. After that appointment is when we will really need to focus in and narrow down the donor choices for the "donor party" we are going to have, for our close family and friends to give us input and "vote" on who the finalist should be. Just as a side note, we plan on picking the donors who are shown at this party, and out of the upwards of 50 or so we have seen, those that have passed the initial medical history/bio tests has been maybe half of that...and we have only agreed on 2 as "favorites." Houston, I think we have encountered our greatest challenge. 

So the baby quest continues, and I think that as long as we approach this as we approach all of life - that there is nothing that you can take too seriously - then we may be able to do it.

OH - update on Step 1 - Vitamins - Amy has been pretty vigilant on the vitamins, and has even gotten quite good at choking them down easily. That my friends, is huge dedication and personal growth on her part.

Step 1 - Vitamins

So no, this is not a really horrible way to announce to our friends and family that we are already expecting and Amy is pregnant. It is simply that we are starting the process to begin our family, and Amy in fact does want to carry a child - so this is going to be interesting. Anyone who knows us knows that the way we tackle life is what has been described to us as...amusing. Therefore, we are going to give you a birds eye view of  the biggest step of our lives to this point, and probably ever. This blog has been set up with myself and Amy both as contributors so you get the full effect of the different views that we tend to have on situations. The idea is that on most things, you will have a post from how it happened from Amy, and then a post on what I feel really happened. Of course, the truth is most likely in the middle.
This first blog however is one we are going to write together. So to reiterate the title - Step 1 - Vitamins.
Now when I say Vitamins, I do not mean multivitamins, supplements or any one kind of nutritional boost. We are talking Prenatal Vitamins here people and there are WAY too many options. I am still trying to figure out what the hell DHA is and why on earth my wife needs it to get her body ready for pregnancy, but you know, whatever, I am not a doctor. So the story goes a little like this. Heather and Amy go to their favorite couple place, yes people, I am talking Target here. Stop judging, you all go there and waste more time and money then you ever walked in thinking you would too. So after a nice leisurely Target stroll, I made a comment that maybe I should have thought through. Knowing that we have our first appointment at our chosen IVF place within the next few weeks, and knowing that Amy's referring OBGYN recommended that she start taking Prenatal Vitamins, AND since we were IN health/beauty and coming up on Pharmacy and more specifically the vitamin section I INNOCENTLY said, "Hey babe, we should at least look at Prenatal Vitamins."
Do you know how dangerous this territory is? I do now. I didn't then. Neither did Amy. First off, I feel I would be remiss if I did not mention that perhaps Target could have a little more organization in their vitamin section. Also, not for nothing but there should be some more signage. Just sayin'. If there are Prenatal Vitamins, and Postnatal Vitamins, maybe a little more separation is not an unreasonable request. I mean, there are SUBSECTIONS people. These are Prenatal vitamins that are simply that - regular Prenatal Vitamins (again, DHA, not sure, but its in them). There are Prenatal ones that have increased iron or are best to promote fetal brain development. There are Prenatal Vitamins that include an extra bottle of additional dietary supplements. Then mixed right in are the Postnatal Vitamins. I mean this was obviously a more intense experience than I pictured or I would have prepared more. I am a very analytic person. I would have researched, I would have scoped out the situation. I was foolish. 30 minutes and a few unanswered panicked phone calls later to people who we thought might help us, we finally pulled it out in typical Heather and Amy fashion - we went for the cheapest.
If this wasn't enough, we had one more obstacle to deal with. Amy and her aversion to taking any pills that happen to be bigger than the head of a pin. A little pin. Like minuscule here people. However where in other people's worlds this may have presented more of a roadblock, we are us. This was a showstopper. So commence Heather cutting pills. Now, I can almost side with Amy here. Though I can swallow a pill of any size with no problem, these things are HORSE size. I felt bad. I was determined. Amy was less determined. After my second failed attempt, Amy rolled her eyes - then rolled over and went to sleep. I tried a few more times, but these things are not only bigger then my freaking pill cutter, but dense. For you Jaws fans, we definitely needed a bigger boat here. Finally, even I admitted defeat and put the pill cutter away. However being you know me, I then laid awake a good portion of the night wondering how the hell I was going to get her to take these things. Amy did not seem to want to share in my brainstorming at 1 AM - but not for lack of me trying to force participation.
The story doesn't end there. A good friend came to our rescue, providing a different brand/kind of Prenatal Vitamin that was slightly smaller and easier to "choke" down. Needless to say the vitamin regiment has started. You may think Step 1 ends there but ongoing will be Step 1A - getting Amy to remember to take them daily, with minimal whining and praying that in a week I do not have to start taking something to "make it fair." Next time, I will give you my view on Step 2 (which probably should have been Step 1) - actually reading the paperwork IVF sent us like 2 weeks ago and filling out a history.
That's all for now folks, we will keep you posted.